The Accreditation Cult Dream and Notes on Anxiety Dreams

 Right, so I deal with nightmares constantly. In fact, what I would typically consider "basic nightmare" is something most people would call a night terror. I've had them as what happens when I dream my entire life. I'm fairly certain the fact that I am incapable of having pleasant dreams is both a cause of my issues socialising with others--and likely a symptom of something else that causes me issues with social activity

Also, it makes it a bit harder to explain--as what I view as normal is different from what others view as normal. Most words require a shared ideal of normallacy to work effectively

Anxiety Dreams are one that might take a bit to explain

Definition of Anxiety Dream Being Worked With

 (No quote)

 Every now and again my nightmares will take the form of me experiencing several years of future events. In some cases multiple decades of future events. For these dreams I will often pass out with no ability to not be asleep for at least several hours

The amount of time asleep does not match up with the event timeline of the dreams--it just requires I get to the point where I can dream. Meaning I'm zonked out and unable to be awoken for at least a few hours

I then wake up, with the sensation of something similar to save scumming having occurred. Like I went back to load up a save file from back when I could make different decisions to have the future events not happen. Usually throwing me off in social interactions for one or two days afterwards

The "Logical" Explanation

 Now, we all know that Atypical Temporal Motion and Quantum Immortality are not real things. Yes, "Time Travel" exists--we are all "Time Travellers" moving at the speed of 1s/s forward. Though when the word "Time Travel" gets used, it usually gets used to refer to SciFi movie nonsense. Which as we all know, movies are not real. Ergo, Atypical Temporal Motion is not real

It should also be noted that anything with the word "Quantum" prefixed onto the front is also fictional. With a few exceptions that prove the rule. Immortality is one of those things with several obvious issues, that naturally some sorts will try to use "Quantum" as a form of "Magical Ether Genie" to try to act like it is not ridiculous

What is likely happening with these Anxiety Dreams, is my mind is taking various conditions, notions and elements of stuff around me and making a series of guesses as to likely things that could happen based upon the information I have access towards. With various portions that I have wrong information showing issues with predictions; various other areas being fixed in with a sort of Moore's Law of Distribution kicking in to explain how often that stuff is accurate

Occasionally I just pass out unconscious, unable to wake for several hours, and my mind is running a series of very vivid whatif scenarios that seem so real, I am thoroughly fscked with upon waking up. With me eventually regaining composure

Yes, there was a time when the amount of predictions that were accurate as per Moore's Law of Distribution might have messed with my ability to maintain composure in the past. I'm better about it now

The reason "logical" is in scare quotes is because this explanation fails to use Weather Balloons, the Planet Venus or Swamp Gas to explain the situation. We all know that any explanation that fails to include those is neither logical nor reasonable 

Why It Being Real Would Not Matter Either

Suppose this specific style of my unconscious mind doing everything it can to find new ways to shock and horrify me was actually a real ability. Suppose I actually was somebody with the Save Scum style of Quantum Immortality? Suppose I did have the ability to do some minor amount of Atypical Temporal Motion

Well... other people would clearly also have these abilities, in the instance these capacities were actually a real thing

Even if it was an ability that only a dozen out of every million people possessed--that is still several thousand people. Maybe even a hundred thousand people

Some of these people--in the case where this was actually real--might even know of each other and be working with each other, in order to at least allow themselves a better position in life (or at least a not completely awful position). Even if the others were not aware of who the others actually were--it would become hard to not run into situations where certain other people seemed to behave unpredictable. Like they seemed to choose different actions on each repeat of groundhog's day--with no ability to account for my own different actions changing what I am seeing them doing

Now, even with maybe a dozen out of every million people having these clearly fictional abilities--we run into an issue. That would be more than enough people behaving differently after jumping around in time, that any future events would be so extremely malleable to make any actual predictions completely unreasonable to actually expect to stay the same

You'd run into a situation where it would seem no different than if you were making guesses with Moore's Law of Distribution matching up with your ability to just make guesses about what is likely to happen

Creating a situation where even if it was real... it would still be fictional

How it messes with my social skills

A very important part of my nightmares is that it really messes with my abilities to socialise and interact wit other people

Most people when you mention they showed up in your dreams, assumes it is something sexual. Which means that is typically the only time they see people they know in their dreams

In my dreams, when I see other people--usually something horrible happens to them, and they are killed very graphically in front of my eyes

Which causes me to have issues socialising, because one) that is not sex. Creating a situation where the normal common ground people expect for communication is not possible. As well as two) witnessing somebody being destroyed in front of you, and then seeing them walking around will do a real number on your ability to not look like an awkward buffoon around them. Resulting in me mostly looking like an asshole to most people

 The anxiety dreams add something to this: imagine you knew somebody for decades. However, that person has never ever met you. Immediately, that is going to cause for really really awkward social interactions. With you coming across as somebody potentially dangerous to that other person's safety and well being

Now, take this further... imagine somebody knew who you are right now--and was talking to a version of you from ten years ago, but talking to the version of you from ten years ago like how they would talk to you right now. That would be INSANELY RIDICULOUSLY AWKWARD

Now, to go even further for how anxiety dreams add to this stuff being harder to explain

Imagine the many different ways you could have turned out supposing different sets of events happened in your life. Imagine when that person was talking to you from ten years ago, it was not based upon who you are right now--but that person knowing a version of you from a very different world which had a very different set of events where you turned out very differently than you did now

 Luckily, Atypical Temporal Motion and Quantum Immortality are both fictional and do not actually exist. I mean, imagining believing Time is real.

Because of that, it is more just me making guesses about people I am likely to meet based upon various things I'm currently aware about (and a few things that people have lied to me about) with just Moore's Law of Distribution having some of those guesses not be completely wrong

As a result what is actually happening is way less awful for my ability to socialise, than if Time was actually a real thing, and I was Save Scumming my way to avoid dying in increasingly elaborate and messed up scandals--or increasingly obscure ditches somewhere. It is always some unknown ditch somewhere, or me somehow getting celeb status--there is never any in between... well, except for a couple of times--but I'm disregarding those times, in order to point out this stuff is not real 

 The Accreditation Cult Dream

So uh, keep your hands and arms in the vehicle at all times, and no flash photography

I was thinking up art projects before I passed out for an entire day. Well, technically two days, with me being conscious for a couple hours before getting part two of this anxiety dream where I got a bunch of information to clarify questions from part one. Yeah, waking up does not really have me escaping nightmares. They just continue on when I go back to sleep

The anxiety dream followed along as though I actually made progress with said art projects. It required that I get a bit more physically fit--which I am currently working on anyways--as well as working on various things I'm working on learning for the purposes of these art projects and social experiments

The social experiment begins after I had self-published a series of books. One was a con-lang where I was just being kind of a silly douche bag--the other was a Maths system, that kind of worked for doing Maths in this world. It was more meant for various SciFi series (as was that con-lang). Typically, you'd want to use standard Math type stuff for most things--as it worked much better than the nonsense Maths system I made

The nonsense Maths system I made, however, did a good enough job at accomplishing stuff, that it could work as a form of Meme Maths

The Con-lang Books were mostly me making a joke speculating how Linguistic Drift might affect the English Language

I also had a series of Books about various Internet Standards that are not the current set of Internet Standards--but describe the construction, maintenance and running of another Internet of sorts. This other Internet was mostly something that I was doing stuff on... occasionally you'd get another person checking it out, adding something--and then leaving after a month of being all "hey, neat"

With these books self-published--as well as several other books self-published that I cannot even remember much about their contents after the events that took place for a period longer than a decade--I decided to start up a Social Experiment based around Accreditation

Now, it should be noted that I was not in anyway well off at this point in time. I was on Disability--and getting grants to do Art Projects that were so niche that the only people who were able to understand what I was doing generally had other much more engaging things in their life to attend towards. With them going, "hey, that is kind of neat" if they did notice them--before moving on to something else. The Self-Published Books were generally costing me a bunch of money. With me mostly just keeping them in production because the idea of those books existing made me giggle and laugh

 I've had a lot of suspicious about how Accreditation seems to be mostly a way the people in power can try to launder a sort of eugenics form of justifying the current power hierarchy by faking a methodology of climbing the ranks in society. With anybody who fails to climb the ranks being blamed--when the methodology to climb up was never actually a real option in the first place. A way to pretend that the current balance of power is based upon a meritocracy of sorts

So, I set up a form of Accreditation Fraud as a sort of Proof of Concept to try to push various portions of the current system for its own validity

This fraud mostly worked because nobody would ever look at what I did and go, "yup--this seems valid"

It was meant to mostly have people getting various degrees like "Dakter", "Prafissur", "Moister", etc. as a form of novelty present of sorts. "No, I don't have a Masters in Engineering--that is clearly Moisters of Engineering hanging on my wall there". With me insisting people who have these degrees use nonstandard abbreviations to try to distinguish their qualifications as different from standard academia  

I got into things--and was taking notes of how things were going down on a separate section of the project of this Social Experiment of sorts 

 It got big as some people on social media circles got really really upset about me committing fraud. Accusing me that somebody was going to go to a "Dakter of Madiceen" for Medical Advice. With my responses not calming where I inform them, that they should only go to a Dakter of Madiceen if they were wanting something in the way of Madiceel Advice--and going to them for Medical Advice is about as reasonable as going to a Doctor of Music for advice about making an opening bid in a game of Bridge. This seemed to only cause further controversy in various Tea Channels that needed some low hanging fruit to go after when there wasn't any real controversies for them to pretend to care about. It was more about maintaining a two minute hate--and they were unreasonable and silly

Having gotten a small bit of notoriety in regards to me having made a series of degrees with the benefit of "seems totes legit", I decided to make some moves to see what I could do to have these degrees be seen as useful substitutes in various fields of employment

Knowing fully well with how capitalism works and operates, if I could get Dakter of Madiceen far enough into the area of "can kind of look like they are doing the job right"--I can start having various care centres and medical places hiring people whose degree is a Dakter of Madiceen instead of a Doctor of Medicine. As well as various other industries having a line where if I can get these degrees past a certain point, those industries would either accept these degrees as valid substitute degrees--or might even prefer these degrees to some level

The next stage of this Social Experiment was to figure out how I could push the requirements of these degrees to have them approach being somewhat able to be considered valid

Since these degrees were all known to be joke degrees--and several people had them already--I did not have to worry about being taken as being fraudulent as if I had started with making them be a serious set of information from the start

I started adding some rather simple hurdles to jump across with having people get the degrees, as well as keep the degree they had already gotten

These new hurdles were rather simple and straight forward enough that only a couple of people were barred from keeping their degrees. Though I suspect they might have been trying to fail these additional elements on purpose for the sake of making content online

I then added Gamification Elements into the mix. With a set of badges and achievements on the way to getting these "Totes Legit Degrees". This was mostly for the purpose of me being able to ramp up the difficulty in getting these degrees, while still maintaining the image of these being not actual real degrees. More just fun little edutainment distractions you could make use with

The Degrees were never there to actually cost people too much money. The idea was to keep getting these Degrees as quite a bit cheaper than the actual real and legit Degrees. With a fair amount of the system set up to make it so that the rich upper class could not actually game this system--while also keeping it set up in a way to avoid having those in power view it as any kind of credible threat to them. I mean, the degrees were named things like "Moisters of Literature" and "Moisters of Computer Enganooring"

 While I worked up slowly updating the syllabuses and materials to study--I started working on a stealth project to sneakily give validity by working to translate various other peer reviewed materials into my Meme Maths system

Effectively, using the gamification of my system, I allowed people to get more "Valid Tokens" for replicating various other papers in various peer reviewed journals in my meme maths system. Equipment was supplied on a peer-to-peer style equipment sharing type deal. With being able to acquire the equipment, in a way that did not cause us any legal consequences, for others to do multiple attempts to replicate what papers it was reasonable for us to attempt this with would also get you "Valid Tokens". Those "Valid Tokens" could then be used to purchase virtual paint brushes in an avatar market place that I was never able to fight inflation being a major issue within said market place. There were several shades of blue that I nearly could have gotten a medium sized particle accelerator constructed from people trying to be able to afford for their digital profile

At this point various temporary work offices that hired people for the day--and over charged them for equipment, transport, etc.--started accepting my various Totes Legit Degrees as equivalents for their work forces. With those temporary work agencies fudging things behind the scenes to hide that this is what they were doing

Also at this point, various schools that were on the more underfunded side of things started incorporating my various items to help get around them not being able to properly afford proper educational stuffs. Many of them even making use of the separate internet protocols I cooked up as an art project--except they were legitimately using these protocols

I was not actually aware of when this stuff actually happened--and thus was not actually able to log it for my notes on this Social Experiment

I had set this stuff up in a way that I was not really making any money on any of it. It wasn't really costing me any of my own money anymore either. This was by design, as to avoid getting into legal trouble for fraud, I would need to create as tiny of a monetary footprint as I possibly could. If I made too much money, I'd upset the current social hierarchy, and have the people in power get concerned that I would take power from them

This system ended up being cheaper for people to be educated and competent at their jobs. While also creating a bit of a safety net of sorts--that it was hard for people in power to come after this stuff without them playing their hand that they viewed the ability to be cruel to those under them as how they maintained power. I allowed enough "yes-anding" for those in power--while making it so that people's lives were only getting slightly worse. Not making them better--but slowing down the rate things were going down the toilet

I was still missing a few things, however, in order to properly make claims about the accreditation system's flaws and misgivings and issues. While being heralded as a "Disrupter in the Field of Education"

I did not notice that a Cult had decided I was their Messiah

I did notice that some people were trying to mimick my behaviours and mannerisms in an effort to try to also get my level of success. My name was recognised. Even if I was not overly rich. I was still on disability. Which many people viewed as a travesty of sorts. With me trying to tone down them offering me riches and wealth having people taking it as me being very very humble. I was mostly just fully well aware that while I had skirted the laws on several different avenues, if I started living in a palace, I'd have to start having some real talks with various taxmen. I'd also have the rich 1% have to change their tactics with my stuff. I had been avoiding the various Ted Talks--and other circuits that would have watered down what I was trying to accomplish. If I had gone on those, I could have accepted money with less issues--at the expensive of my Social Experiment being made less valid and real

There were a lot of people dressing similarly to me

I just assumed it was an Elizabeth Holmes type deal. Where people thought the clothes are what made Steve Jobs

No, turns out at some point a Cult had formed that viewed me as their Messiah. They seemed to have formed separately from my Social Experiment for reasons that were never made clear to me. Apparently several people had visions of me as a Goddess or God type figure and gathered a small group devoted to my worship. No idea when this group started--but they ended up trying to take part in my Social Experiment

No, they did not really manage to proper infiltrate my "Totes Legit Degreez Progarms"--if anything, the Cultists seemed to generally flunk out of being able to get my Degrees. With only a small handful of them actually competent enough to be ranked mid level in the degree programs. Some of them were even in a few of the scandals where people tried to cheat at getting these degrees

Luckily those scandals happened while the degrees were still viewed as invalid enough that they were ostracized by society for doing that stuff. I fully documented these attempts--as it would serve as helpful in the Social Experiment. With me noting for future possible experiments to check if these being viewed as invalid emboldened people to try to cheat, or if it was more valid if cheating would have been more intense and harder to detect

 Several of the attempts on my life started citing the cult that had declared me as their messiah. Though, they failed to effectively communicate what they were on about. Which is normal when people try to harm me for "the greater good"--as the sorts who make actions to attempt that generally suck at communicating what is going on in their heads. Being self-righteous tends to interfere with communication skills

I was trying to work on figuring out the last few bits of how I would finish up this Social Experiment to properly target the issues with Accreditation before publishing my book on the topic

Though, the fact I was trying to set up a situation where people would be less hurt by this reveal seemed to have a lot of people thinking I was going to try to commit suicide. As they saw my actions as that of a person who was trying to make certain their death would cause less problems--as oppose to somebody who had done something that was only legal because I had manage to avoid anybody thinking they should prosecute me--and was trying to avoid people getting REALLY REALLY mad at me when I told everybody the truth

As I could only improve the current system if I revealed the notes I was taking on my social experiment. It would completely tank my "Totes Legit Degreez Progarms"--but the knowledge would be extremely beneficial to so many other people out there, that much better institutions could be set up. By keeping the knowledge to myself--I was stopping the opportunity for a better world. While a better world would probably not happen upon reveal--it would definitely not happen if I kept this information to myself

It was then that the successful assassin showed up at my place of working at the time. I had moved into a bit of an odd house at this point in time. My goal was to keep costs of maintaining this place low. It was a very inconvenient place for myself--and most other people as well. People had issues finding it--and my various errands seemed to be more efforts it making myself more physically fit. People kept away because it was a pain in the butt to get to and from here

The assassin showed up, and told me that I could not publish my next book. "Uh... what next book?" I ask--knowing that the assassin had no reason to know the contents of this book

"I'd explain to you, that I know of your little Social Experiment. But how I know of the future of ruin caused by you publishing your findings would sound crazy. Not that it matters to a cult leader like yourself!"

"... Cult leader?"

I had kind of suspected that a few of the people doing media related stuff around me were a bit too interested in me. I have had people declare me messiah before the start of this anxiety dream's timeline

"Oh, cut me your 'we are just a legit family' or whatever nonsense you will give for the people who you tricked into believing you are a messiah!"

"... quick question... how many times have I been the villain you've had to defeat?"

"... wait... what?"

"Look, suppose you are successful in ending me right here and right now. You saying this won't actually matter. If you are jumping around and resetting time--how many times has your time resets involved me as the big bad guy"

"You do show up oddly often. What with you having had multiple cases where you are a leader of a massive cult that causes massive destruction in society"

"Those are the time resets where you are able to stop me---and something else doesn't happen to stop my machinations of megalomanicial evil then?" I continue--while reviewing over the book of my findings. Seeing at what point things went completely terribly

"Stop toying with me. You are clearly stalling for time, to try to get out of your fate"

"Really... so this isn't the first time you jumped back to defeat me, then?"

I had been reading my works. My methodology was flawed. Because there was no guarantee that things would actually get better upon revealing, and my actions holding better developments back somewhat--the only correct response would be to have never done this Social Experiment. Maybe a few other of my art projects--but this Social Experiment is too terrible and would only result in harm

"This is the first time--but I am rather skilled. Weird how an insane arrogant fool like yourself would be so quick to accept me being a time traveller"

The assassin lunged to try to end me. The thing is, he did it very poorly, and was going to fail. The assassination seemed to crumple and fold from apparently hitting himself with his attempt to end me

This caused the entire situation to reset. Giving me a feeling of deja vu as a I woke up from working on my papers. I saw the assassination walk into my abode. "So--you are here to try to defy my Messiah status? An insect like yourself?"

I was playing stuff up--to try to get him into a state where he'd be more pliable

"This is not the first time you have defeated me. Is it. Quick question--with your temporary set backs on me achieving ultimate Goddess status--do you ever find you seem to reset back to times oddly? Like things went back several years instead of months?"

The assassin blinked. I had gone off script far too much. "How long back the jumps happen is inexact--as the butterfly effect is inexact. We might think we know when we will jump back--but that is our own arrogance"

The assassin was expecting to fail again in this attempt. He shifted his stance, and came at me again 

Me knowing fully well it would only be a matter of time before my death would come due to me having made a massive mistake changes my position and path to help the assassin in his attempts to end me. With me jumping back in time to before I even got healthy enough to do the first few art projects

My jump back to this current day was inexact, explained from the events I was jumping over being more than a decade, and me not really properly remembering when would be the best point for me to jump back to avoid the events from that Social Experiment causing damage 

I woke up... with the sensation that I should maybe publish some of those books--but that Social Experiment should be a thing I do not actually attempt anything towards. As the cult that declares me Messiah would be harder to see coming while doing that level of skirting the law for what was fully a large amount of unaddressed fraudulent activity. If there were are other time jumpers--they likely are a bit shocked and surprised at having jumped back this far. They likely had met and talked with each other over the course of the decade--but now have no clue who any of the rest of them are. With some of them not even aware they are time jumpers of any sort

Or at least that is what part two of the dream was going over. All the different chaos caused by me having a time jump go so far back. With my cult being dismantled before I was ever anywhere near the cult--and the time jumpers trying to work out how that played out. Several months being played over and over again--until finally things jump back to when I woke up from part 2 of the dream. With the sensation of the various parts of my life that seemed to never end were slightly due to these sorts of mechanics happening

I woke up from part two with a few better "mundane reasonable sounding answers" for odd events in my life... and fully aware that if time jumping is real, I'm a reoccurring villain to a large group of time jumpers who seem to have never considered that some of their rogues gallery may also have the same ability. With the conflict happening more due to weird environmental issues that cannot be dealt with in any real manner/method. Also the suspicion that several of the members of the Cults that keep forming around me in these events that never actually happen are also Time Jumpers of sorts--whose Time Jumping has them confirming my messiah status to them--as oppose to questioning it

 Also was VERY disorientated from having felt like I experienced multiple decades over the course of two days. The second of those days, the decades I experienced was the same months happening over and over and over again with so many different variations, as other time travellers kept trying to fix and solve problems--some of which were actually real (a lot of them were just them dealing with a Atypical Temporal induced Trauma Disorder)

I mean, it was all just a dream... but it was really really vivid. Which makes reorientating to the real waking world just a bit more annoying and harder to accomplish. I eventually get there--but it just takes a while to fully wake up, and shake away the sleepy nonsense